


There's A Velociraptor In Our Cave

by afterism



Category: Horrible Histories
Genre: Crack, Dinosaurs, Gen, purposeful historical inaccuracy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-29
Updated: 2012-08-29
Packaged: 2017-11-13 03:51:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/499149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/afterism/pseuds/afterism
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>written for an anon meme prompt that can be summed up as: DINOSAURS! :D</p>
            </blockquote>





	There's A Velociraptor In Our Cave

**Author's Note:**

> because [velociraptors are kind of small and feathery and hilarious](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Velociraptor_dinoguy2.jpg).

Something small and feathery and with a ridiculously long tail squawked at the entrance of their cave. 

"Grnn," Grunt said, tugging on Ugg's arm and pointing towards it. Ugg was already staring, having dropped his bowl and not even noticed the way it cracked, spilling paint over the rock.

"Velociraptor," Grunt said.

"Don't be silly, Grunt. Dinosaurs died out a very long time ago," Ugg said, flatly.

"Someone invent time machine?" Grunt said.

"Silly Grunt," Ugg said, groping the air behind him until he found his club, and whacked him over the back of his head. Grunt didn't react. "We haven't even reached the bronze age yet, quantum mechanics are a bit beyond our palaeolithic brains."

Grunt snuffled, and sharply looked around. The feathery thing snapped its jaws, bowing its head low and long and looking worryingly like it was about to charge at them.

"Me hunt raptor?" Grunt said.

"Excellent idea," Ugg said, handing him the club and edging behind him. "We can dig a deep hole and bury the bones to really confuse some archaeologists."

"Don't have spade," Grunt said, shifting his grip on the club. The raptor sprung towards them, a fast streak of feathered deadliness, and just as it launched itself up with its claw extended out towards his throat, Grunt swung the club and caught it sharply on its side, sending it screeching into the cave wall. It righted itself with a flurry of wings and charged out of the cave, its tail whipping behind it as it squawked angrily.

Grunt jumped happily, looking around for Ugg. "Huh," he said, and then looked down and saw Ugg huddling on the floor with his arms over his head. "Raptor gone," Grunt said.

Ugg cautiously uncurled, peering between Grunt's legs to check the cave was definitely dinosaur-free. He clambered to his feet and, after a pause, took his club back. "Well done," he said, awkwardly.

"Ugg lover, not fighter," Grunt said kindly, patting his arm. 

"Er. Quite," Ugg said, and (gently) whacked him in the face in thanks.


End file.
